I feel so unwanted... its strange but I feel inside me that its true. Not all people can understand me, not all people would even mind to try to understand me. I
ts very unnecessary that I try to be selfish, or even act one... I am really destroying my whole self now.. and by doing so, I prefer to detach myself to my love ones. Often times now, I feel emotionless as if pain, sorrow, happiness doesn't really exist anymore. I didn't want to believe it at first, eventually it be came stronger and more powerful.
My anger is still fiery and can still cause whip lash to other people. I've terminated patience in my system, which is why I find myself very pitiful as if I'm hopeless...
ts very unnecessary that I try to be selfish, or even act one... I am really destroying my whole self now.. and by doing so, I prefer to detach myself to my love ones. Often times now, I feel emotionless as if pain, sorrow, happiness doesn't really exist anymore. I didn't want to believe it at first, eventually it be came stronger and more powerful.
My anger is still fiery and can still cause whip lash to other people. I've terminated patience in my system, which is why I find myself very pitiful as if I'm hopeless...
Still when I needed a friend to talk or call onto, still a few people would response and those are the special ones. God still stands by me, and I am grateful even if He doesn't directly talk to me, I
know inside myself that I'm repetitive and that small details still cause a dime. I feel so out of myself lately, I'm so confused that I don't know what I like and not like anymore. I felt that God whispered to me that I need to put Him in the center of my life, but with this kind of luck and unfortified faith.. The devil still tries to lure me every time, the most recent trap it caused me is that I have caused pain to someone, nonetheless I knew it was gone and I've already accepted my destiny.. I felt so hurt that I placed turmoil on somebody else.. I
know inside myself that I'm repetitive and that small details still cause a dime. I feel so out of myself lately, I'm so confused that I don't know what I like and not like anymore. I felt that God whispered to me that I need to put Him in the center of my life, but with this kind of luck and unfortified faith.. The devil still tries to lure me every time, the most recent trap it caused me is that I have caused pain to someone, nonetheless I knew it was gone and I've already accepted my destiny.. I felt so hurt that I placed turmoil on somebody else.. I
felt at the moment to just stab myself directly to the gut for an instant kill..
God, got mad at me.. I'm confused-- I hate myself, but God didn't want me to hate myself but instead He wants me to accept and to ask for forgiveness.. I can't remember if I accounted myself as somebody perfect at all [I hate myself] I had a lot of questions and those questions always hindered me from wanting to know why it happen or how come..
Both my membranes are just so tired and wants to give up, a little of tears run down without emotions being painted.. and now my eyes are growing tired its way way pass my bed time.. and I only have one answer left in my head: silence myself
ciao
0 *Bonbonnière*:
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