Last night was just unavoidable, seriously? Drinking out and partying... just realized its not my thing anymore, it felt like it was wrong as if fitting yourself in a really nice top yet you don't look good on it. A lot of things crossed my mind last night, I even thought about this guy that I like because we were around Makati area in Jupiter street and he would tell me that he usually hangs out there. No chance of luck, we didn't push through and stayed in Fiamma because it was kind of boring and the place was just dead and to think that was already 11:30pm.... Then we decided to go to Timog and settled for a place called Dolce; its this super club in north that people from there goes to.
Yet again, I attempted to break out of my coffin and stayed out and chillax with other people... The crowd was a party place but it was more like mixed people not like in Fort but we stayed. It was a different feeling, I had the urge of this trying to avoid the alcohol and partying.... Whenever I go to the toilet and boys would check me out, I would look straight and avoid eye contact... I felt so strict and emotionless. The whole time, I would talk to Kuya Jess inside my head and pray calmly and tell him: "I can do this, avoid it" The carbon monoxide from cigarettes -was just polluting my eyes and I was starting to get all droopy... I finished my san mig light, and changed to the Gilbey's Green Tea; which I said was my favorite.... The music was lively and it enticed me to dance and move around, then my sister's friend starts to annoy me at first I was like "Yeah I'm cool"... as time went by he starts to pinch my arm and would ask me if I was alright and I kept a cool face and repeated my answer. That actually happened like may be 8 times or so, and he would also poke my sides... I was in control, and continuously prayed mentally.
The night was fast, we actually went home at around 5am..... It was just not right, didn't felt right. or maybe because I wasn't used to it? The whole ride going home, the guy kept on touching my hair and would tuck it in my ear and would touch my shoulder and he would slide his hands to my hair... I felt grossed out... I wanted to cry and shouted for help, I wanted my old boyfriend to come rescue me but nothing so instead I continued to pray to Kuya Jess... My head felt heavy, I started to feel sleepy... As soon as I got home, I washed up and prepared for bed. The sun was almost up, the birds were chirping.. I felt uneasy, I slept the whole day and woke up at 4pm, ate my late lunch and took a bath and got ready for church... During church, I asked for forgiveness. It was so not right the whole thing.... But I tried.
Now, here... I lay... with my sleepy eyes, and would drown myself to dreams...
ciao bella
0 *Bonbonnière*:
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