Mars is twinkling at me

So i look up at my window, and I see this very very small dot that is twinkling just straight me...


Isn't it amazing how God can cheer us up?


Its funny how this day went, it was a steady and unusual day. Wouldn't actually believe that I would be watching "Twilight" again... not to mention, whenever I watch that movie I would just fall madly in love with Edward's character... even if its very fictional, yet "a girl can still dream" 

• Attending employee party [Fail]
• Coloring my hair [Semi-Fail]
• Buying ice cream [Almost-Fail]
• Ignoring someone [Totally Failed]

I am really frustrated, I can't imagine how I will be able to function for the next few days... A little adjustment within my screws are definitely an option. 

This morning I watched some random incubus home videos at 

YouTube

and it was just hilarious 

and cute

and plain fun.

Its actually nice how you

can learn a lot from 

those random gags they do.

Honestly, I do miss having a boyfriend. I miss being able to care of someone I love. I know this situation is practically typical, yet after all I'm just a girl who just wants to find my very own half.

my own brand of heroine..

The fervor that I felt before, is just slowly fading away and I'm not sure how to stop it or to take control of it. Since I told myself that I will be letting it go slowly and soon. After this dream of mine, this temporary silence that I have kept myself; soon I will be facing my future [bites her lips and ponders]

What should lie ahead of me? success? failure? happiness? emptiness?

During day offs, I love giving myself a time off: take my usual pause and just lay on my bed and reflect on the things I should be preparing for. 

Thought on top of my head:

I'm scared

of being left behind.. of taking a new path.. of many things in short

Now 1 Corinthians 13 hits me hard, 

Clearly, I'm struggling with myself.

=[

purpose? what is the real purpose. 

what have I gained lately?

God's messages have been very strong lately, his communications and messages have been very powerful. 

I chose to choose to stay with His will, and in my mind and heart I shall continue.