Zombie me

I felt like a zombie this morning, till this afternoon: then as soon as the moon shed... I instantly changed my mood, its pretty gudanculous. As soon as he stepped in the kitchen I felt nothing at first and I didnt show it in my appearance, but I think my heart skipped a beat again.. I feel remorseful at the thought that its only a (crush) and there is no hope on it. His face is something new as to compare to majority of the boys I try to measure up. Its irritating that my co-worker told him that it was the first time that I smiled for the whole day.. [cover fail] sob: I think I need to stop liking him...

I feel so tired lately, for the past 2-3 weeks we only have one day off. Which I think is great, since more hours of work for us :)

My head hurts at the moment, our kitchen smells seriously bad... It wreaks so bad! That it smells like: a really really spoiled raw ground beef mixed with cardamom and star anise...

My head is spinning right now... and I am totally in a awkward mood.

I guess its not a good day: since we forgot to attend church :| How incorrect and unethical of me to forget the day? This is impossible, can you even imagine that? Working is like your stuck in trance and you've forgotten what has happened outside your world. (duh)

I miss the Philippines, I couldn't even remember my normal routine? I have my bed as my boyfriend, how ridiculous could that get?

all I could do is weep, imagine a girl just pouring her tears with no emotions and sound coming from her mouth?

I'm tired of being, over sensitive.

• I need to cry so hard and shout
• I want to pour out this pain in my chest
• I need someone to care for my again
• I don't want to be left in the dark anymore
• I want to apologize if I am too showy, frank

Even my co-workers know my personality, and I don't want to kill my cover. :[

current mood:

listening to music

I'm suppressing my tears at the moment, and it couldn't stop it... could you imagine a person being plagued and could not find the medicine.

I want to give up, he is right; I should stop.. should just stop at all.

My chest hurts so much right now, I have no one to talk to; except for God. I am practically impaired, it feels sad that I do not have the right.. nothing at all again. No I do not want to find pity from others, I'd be better be off wounded.

ayaw ko na.