My friend''s silly message:

So one of my friend's sent a message in Facebook and she "Blast IM'ed" it to everyone, and can I just say almost all her friends and most of them are close friends. I wanted to eavesdrop what they were talking about but never mind. Anyways it was about the horoscope and it's title was "Accurate Horoscope for 2010" and mine goes:


PISCES - The Partner for Life
Caring and kind. Smart. Likes to be the center of attention. Very organized. High appeal to opposite sex. Likes to have the last word. Good to find, but hard to keep. Passionate, wonderful lovers. Fun to be around. Too trusting at times and gets hurt easily. VERY caring. They always try to do the right thing and sometimes gets the short end of the stick. They sometimes get used by others and get hurt because of their trusting. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good sense of humor!!! Thoughtful. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. Good friend to other but needs to be choosy on who they allow their friends to be.


I would definitely try to be humble about it, since I'm pretty sure that I'm not that "popular" though, I love to care a lot... and when I say a lot, its absolutely a lot... to the point that it sometimes gets me into trouble and get hurt. For the past few days I have been trying to focus myself in one thing, and that is God. 
I'm actually getting better at it, and what i would usually do is, I would pray internally and would try to understand whats happening in my life. Most of the time, I would just pray; while brushing my teeth, while sitting down in the royal throne, while working, cooking, eating breakfast. I would say that most of my time, I spend it with God. I'm far from being sad now, maybe the right word now is: "Placid" 
I sometimes care less now about whats going on, though I still take time to understand the situations that surrounds me, one instance is that I don't find the "Guy" interesting anymore; I'm thinking because he doesn't show interest therefore its a sign for me to lay-off of him. At the same time, I also realize that I can't like David, since his like a brother and my neighbor and from which the commandment says: "Though shall not commit adultery" and now I find him like a brother and a very charming one, the fact that he has a girlfriend. (so out of my league) 

sob sob.

Everybody has a relationship nowadays,

but

everybody is also 

breaking up.

I guess you could say that I am envious, very very envious...

But The fact that I need to stop and not even think about it, I get cold feet about it. About thinking of loving another person? Though I have one in mind, and his back in Manila and we stopped talking already. The fact that he is trying to find his way back into his education, its a bit tricky also... Being shown his true feelings and having a hard time delivering it.. then.

Poof?

There you go.. its as if he too got cold feet.

My ex-lover told me, not to wait for him or even leave a love spot for him since I don't have assurance from him. I know he is right, but its not necessarily that I'm going to leave it for him, but instead I just want to take my time; and maybe let God's chosen one find his way to me. As painful as it sounds, I will slowly be able to stand again. I just can't give my purity away to anyone else who is not worth of staying and keeping me till the last, end of story. 

Truly, its a shame:

that nobody will be able to

enjoy my company

my own likableness.

God has his own plans for me, and I am excited for it. My only problem at the moment, is work and its unjust actions and stunt that they are trying to pull towards us. We ain't stupid and we know what they are trying to do.. 

BUT!

I will continue to pray about it,

I will not whine but instead, I will accept it.

In return I will show them good relation and a satisfied person.

Let's not forget about God's Message for today:

All too often loud events and daily busyness cloud your vision of God. Take some time to slow down; let there be silence, let there be peace. Calm your mind and let your inner voice re-emerge from the silence. Allow yourself to see visions, allow yourself to dream dreams; and you may hear the voice of God reaching out to you.

Isn't this funny?

It's about dream, can I just say..

Lately, my dreams are a bit odd..

And I am not able to control it even it its fictional.

=(

Even in my dream, I am haunted..

That he doesn't Love me, the fact that the girl was in the dream.

My life is a shame.. I am soo haunted and I couldn't do anything;

because he doesn't love me anymore.

He rebukes me. scorn. nuisance.

Too much turmoil to handle, even in dreams. :(

I guess Love has totally have gone out of the window.

sob.

I'M GOING TO DREAM BIG NOW..

sleep tight 

beautiful princess me.

Never mistake motion for action.

- Ernest Hemingway


current mood: