Why has reality been trying to wake me up again? When will I be able to get over my Facebook and just leave it as is. I feel sad just thinking about me being alone again, but what should I do? There's nothing left for me but to just leave it as is and continue with life.
The movie I saw earlier really helped me a lot about how I can move on with my life again, sometimes you would really feel betrayed and feel that your alone in the world; feeling the sorrow. There was this interesting line from the movie I really liked: "I wish there was a pill for making you feel your not in love; --why would you do that if in the first place its hard to get it"
Now, why do we feel lonely yet again... What is the best way to forget someone? Make you feel your not loved? Make you think you were never loved or cared? Make you feel your the worst person? Or make you feel your the only person he/she can love but can never have?
It makes me feel sad that I've left half of myself in the streets and had to continue walking without picking it up. The agony that can make you realize that its finally over, people mocking you that "That's how life goes"
I never wanted to be:
- perfect, all I wanted was to show that there was two sides.
- negative, I used to be always optimistic about life
- clueless, I know I had to remember but I'm sorry that you always had to remind me how I did to you
- the princess, I did want to in a special way, not to be the literal one who'd be a spoiled and have whatever she always wanted
- rightful, I knew I had to always just let things pass by and that was it.
- attention seeker, all I needed was to someone to watch over me
- unappreciative...
- non supportive...
I am left with myself, no attachment. Emotionally detachment is the solution for best results, I was so happy when I had him; nevertheless I never would have thought that he would give up because he felt that he can never end up happy with me.
How I wish, marriage would be a way wherein; everyday of your life you find more and more interesting things about the person you love. Everyday of your life together, you celebrate the thought of falling in love with each other. Less pain and more of happiness.
I'm left with this gaping hole and now, I'm successfully trying to retract it back. To the person who will next love me, How I pray that you will enjoy loving me for who I am and everyday of my life I will love you for who you are - I will not let your flaws discourage me to take the chance of loving you.
I am back in the hiding part, truly life is a "hide and seek". Seek not for it will be given to you... What is next in my life? Exert more effort in trying to achieve and enjoy my life, I would have to be satisfied on what I have. And to go back on the plan of "waiting". I will have to first love myself again before I fall in love. I leave all my worries and pain to the Almighty God!
Internship, I know this will help me a lot to move on with my life and to keep me focus on what is on my path. Creating a diversion, is new to me again... For the longest time in my life, I would have to go back to this dirt road and get my hands dirty. Greatness is the key, amazing is the answer. I will not let myself be discouraged about the debris that is letting me feel awkward, I will continue with my life with or without him. He used to tell me that he Loves me, now that I know he doesn't Love me and does not need me. I'm back on the market, I do not need to seek for it will eventually be here. Love can betray us, but God will not betray us!
