A new year, which means a new Easter month. I guess, it's been a week since my brother got discharged from the hospital which gives a very good sign, he's been a pretty good boy I think except the thing of being *stubborn* again.. as always which I think will never be erased in his personality since he thinks that I'm pretty annoying. Would a good change of approach be a nice solution towards his attitude to me. I just hope that my brother respects me for who I am, *sob* I am too is an older sister. I guess it would always be like that, same with sherard he will always address me as how he does 3 years ago or should I say 4 years ago?
It's been so long, and I still get hurt on how he wants to manifest *comments/opinion* toward me, I know that (everybody has their own right given opinion) but, when will I stop getting hurt. I would always try to be gentle on how I treat him, it's been a long period since we've been together so long that I'm not sure if this is right. That its okey for me to get hurt, and for him to get hurt with how he thinks I treat him... it's starting to go as its own limit again, passing near the "red line". He would always think that I am unfair, I am always this: I need to be pleased, I need to be boss, he thinks that I don't care, that I hurt him because of my own fun and pleasure. May be he is right, but at the same time may be he is wrong because he never ask me *the right question on the right time* I guess, I admit I am pretty much selfish; but in this cruel cruel world sometimes "An individual can be left in an island for a several of days or months just to contemplate and give them the right space for themselves". Nowadays, in our world we never get to have the right privacy and time for ourselves; it's either *we give it to others* or *we just don't know when to stop*. I know very dearly, *that I am not always the star of the show*.
This statements such as *not using the head before speaking* its very profound in a context that the person who addressed it to you wanted to be superior over you because he/she thinks of you as an alien or someone who has the size of the brain of bird. [bird brain] as they address it to someone who thinks they don't use their brain, because the other party felt *hurt* *pain* *sorrow* *sadness*.
When will this end, I don't know which part to start and which part to depart. I know, that God only knows these question to my sporadic nonesense question. Tell me that I'm a dramatic person, how else can this scar be just covered and be sutured back to it normal shape? Who can put it back, I try my best to be strong to be the person of great values, and has endured struggles toward the past 2 decades of her life. But who am I now? a person, just a person among the gazillion people who lives in our dear beautiful Earth. How much difference do I make in it? How much more pain and problem can I still endure, it was never/always the statement of "I understand how you feel" it was the other way around a contradicting thought from the other half. How many tears does an individual have to shed to show how much they are hurt and scared.
Humanity has its own words, Jesus Christ let himself suffered and only him for the sake of humanity. How else can other people do it, "sacrificing" its a very heavy word; not all people can do it also not all people attempt on doing it.
Who is pride and ego, who are they in this very great world we live in. Who has the right to judge one person? Who has the key to enduring all the sufferings of this world? Who will listen to the problems of socio-economic problem of global warming? Who, may be me, may be my classmate from pre school, may be just may be...
I feel that our life is sweet, lovely and short. How else do we want to live in it, in my very own believe, as a principle of thought: not everybody, is great with vocabulary, not everyone knows how to draw, not everyone has their both eye sight, not everyone can walk, not everyone survives and live till they accomplish their dreams, not everyone studies in a privilege school, not everyone gives back to the needy, not everyone believes in God. So who am I, who are you, who are the others to judge other being? I feel that I am an observer and never be the judge.
Lenten season, is a time for people to reflect and change. Recall why God gave his only son to us and suffer for other people's sin.
Now, I stay patient and not complain. I do not want to force other people to listen to me, if do not want them to feel that its their problem- "it's my problem" not theirs.
Yes, I am one of God's child that's why I do not want to seek too much attention of him. But I stand here, willingly to serve him. I may not be perfect for other people's eye, I pray that he will continue to love me and show me my life's purpose.
Mood: a classical piano by Chopin in Nocturne in G minor.
Song: Ave Maria
It's been so long, and I still get hurt on how he wants to manifest *comments/opinion* toward me, I know that (everybody has their own right given opinion) but, when will I stop getting hurt. I would always try to be gentle on how I treat him, it's been a long period since we've been together so long that I'm not sure if this is right. That its okey for me to get hurt, and for him to get hurt with how he thinks I treat him... it's starting to go as its own limit again, passing near the "red line". He would always think that I am unfair, I am always this: I need to be pleased, I need to be boss, he thinks that I don't care, that I hurt him because of my own fun and pleasure. May be he is right, but at the same time may be he is wrong because he never ask me *the right question on the right time* I guess, I admit I am pretty much selfish; but in this cruel cruel world sometimes "An individual can be left in an island for a several of days or months just to contemplate and give them the right space for themselves". Nowadays, in our world we never get to have the right privacy and time for ourselves; it's either *we give it to others* or *we just don't know when to stop*. I know very dearly, *that I am not always the star of the show*.
This statements such as *not using the head before speaking* its very profound in a context that the person who addressed it to you wanted to be superior over you because he/she thinks of you as an alien or someone who has the size of the brain of bird. [bird brain] as they address it to someone who thinks they don't use their brain, because the other party felt *hurt* *pain* *sorrow* *sadness*.
When will this end, I don't know which part to start and which part to depart. I know, that God only knows these question to my sporadic nonesense question. Tell me that I'm a dramatic person, how else can this scar be just covered and be sutured back to it normal shape? Who can put it back, I try my best to be strong to be the person of great values, and has endured struggles toward the past 2 decades of her life. But who am I now? a person, just a person among the gazillion people who lives in our dear beautiful Earth. How much difference do I make in it? How much more pain and problem can I still endure, it was never/always the statement of "I understand how you feel" it was the other way around a contradicting thought from the other half. How many tears does an individual have to shed to show how much they are hurt and scared.
Humanity has its own words, Jesus Christ let himself suffered and only him for the sake of humanity. How else can other people do it, "sacrificing" its a very heavy word; not all people can do it also not all people attempt on doing it.
Who is pride and ego, who are they in this very great world we live in. Who has the right to judge one person? Who has the key to enduring all the sufferings of this world? Who will listen to the problems of socio-economic problem of global warming? Who, may be me, may be my classmate from pre school, may be just may be...
I feel that our life is sweet, lovely and short. How else do we want to live in it, in my very own believe, as a principle of thought: not everybody, is great with vocabulary, not everyone knows how to draw, not everyone has their both eye sight, not everyone can walk, not everyone survives and live till they accomplish their dreams, not everyone studies in a privilege school, not everyone gives back to the needy, not everyone believes in God. So who am I, who are you, who are the others to judge other being? I feel that I am an observer and never be the judge.
Lenten season, is a time for people to reflect and change. Recall why God gave his only son to us and suffer for other people's sin.
Now, I stay patient and not complain. I do not want to force other people to listen to me, if do not want them to feel that its their problem- "it's my problem" not theirs.
Yes, I am one of God's child that's why I do not want to seek too much attention of him. But I stand here, willingly to serve him. I may not be perfect for other people's eye, I pray that he will continue to love me and show me my life's purpose.
Mood: a classical piano by Chopin in Nocturne in G minor.
Song: Ave Maria
0 *Bonbonnière*:
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