Time is slipping faster and faster...

As time passes by, I hope that the days will be good to me. I pray that I can be blessed to achieve every struggle and obstacle I am now faced, it may look very little but I guess I still can't handle the situation very professionally. How am I suppose to pass the CA subject? I need to study hard and believe in myself and realize that this is only a small obstacles. As my banquet professor say it "Over the mountain lays another mountain" so how am I to successfully accomplish this? I guess it sounds so simple, be satisfied and work harder efforts are always to be doubled or tripled or even quadrupled. It's a shame that we live for praise; also we are judge through how we act and how we conquer mountains. Not every person in the planet we can please, not also everyone we ecounter in life be comes a friend. With prayers I believe I will be able to do this and believing in myself I can do this right.

I was texting my boyfriend the whole day which made me feel good within and today was a very enlightening day even though the struggle of going to the place was such a tiny pain. My family and I went to Tagaytay; it was actually a family trip today. At first I saw it as a draggy Sunday, driving all the way there just to visit the place where "Mother Mary" shows up. They call it apparition as to how more proper they refer to it. The place was up in the hill, they called the mountain/hill "salvation mountain" the actual place where Mary shows up is a small garden like; that you'd have to hike down from the top to the "bangil" like place it wasn't too steep but just fine. So going down the place, it was well renovated and everything; my memory about the original place is pretty blurry.

There was a mass at 2:30 which ended at 4:30 I think; the priest was pretty enthusiastic and made my day more bright and healthy I suddenly have forgotten my problems and all the things that was in my head. His homily was very touching within.... Though my relatives seem to have a different point of view. and AGAIN I was indoctrinated. (insane) I'm sorry I can't really detail the story and everything since I feel pretty tired from the day.

[but I swear... I was really touched]

The day has passed again... but I'm still happy because I was taken away from the fast pace life of the technology. {detaching oneself was a fullfiling feeling}

Enough: I need to concentrate.

I love you: yobo! long time.

I know you'll have a hard time, but I know your almost to getting used to that me [always leaving the country, which I'm so proud of you] Because I think if you leave the country I would be devasted and would cry a lot at night. I don't want to think about it. It feel so sad. Im already missing you.

I miss our night escapades, when we just hang out on a twilight. I miss him

Word of the day "fru fru"

It seem so "weird" normal that I actually heard the word twice for the day from people who weren't related to each other. The thing was that, both individual used the fru fru in a different context.. It seem so random but, it just sounded oh so not normal for me.

The day: I woke up early morning, feeling dizzy felt like I didn't even sleep even though I did sleep early last night. On my way to school, the weather suddenly be came so cool which was absolutely nice because it was about time for the weather to cool again after those sick hot heat stroke days. But the thing was, I wore a not so long sleeve polo today which made me feel cold and freezed then I started to feel the spiky feeling of "hitting cold metal in my skin" which was like a jolt of electricity. As the day went by, I started to feel more worst.... My body was starting to crash (again) for the past few days I've been so "lampa" and wouldn't know how to care of myself.

I feel so, tired. My brain can't stop think, but currently its starting to slow down... and I am truly grateful for it! Plus an added ingredient for the day: seeing my boyfriend sure did made my day "oh so perfect" sitting and cuddling next to him was the sure medicine of my ache-ness. I'm so thankful that he has already improved so much, so proud of you hun!

Now, I am on my way to falling asleep and crashing. I'm am again "thankful" that I have less to be thought about... except for my internship, a few projects, org events and my boyfriend and that's just about it. [sigh] it's really hard to be a college student. But I still believe that I will be able to surpass this.

Pas bien (not good)

I'm still wondering what's wrong with my head. I think There's really something wrong, it's killing my circulation at the same time I am surely being knocked out of my system by my brain, like right now: it sure is puncturing my tiny membranes I can fully feel it throbbing. Maybe I need to sleep, I guess I really should. But the people around me... I still want to talk to them, especially my boyfriend!!


I really can't stand it anymore. I'm crashing now.

I love you lover :D

It felt like a horrible dream

It was too darn insane. This day was so muddled up, it felt like a thick soup of pea. It pretty much felt so heavy and eerie. As how our chef called it "terrible" it was a day of disappointment yet it was saved by my lover.

He was like a knight in shinning armor, originally he is more of a knight rather than a prince but I do see him as an adorable prince. Who wouldn't find their significant others as a prince? He was again very subtle and fast, as if my encounter with him was like a whisper from a wind caressing me softly that one blink of an eye he was then gone again.

How can I not forget this day, labeled as "terrible" was just not acceptable to me. I guess I am an competition freak but; I just couldn't understand this day except for the part for his reappearance. [oh sweet short happiness]

I felt like a fish out of water again, my mind was flying but my body was in tact {I wanted to think straight that morning till the end of the day}

--I was sure thankful enough that my anthropology professor didn't come in, I was plain relieved and relaxed. The thought of going home early and spending a short moment with my lover was just enough to temporarily soothe my "unexplainable void inside me" I couldn't think straight properly, I wanted but my brain was just malfunctioning but it was continuously feeding information over and over again. When I got home, I had a sudden rush of nerve storming simultaneously moving in one rhythm; the pattern was so sporadic that [I was feeling my brain crashing down and puking information and blood out of my mouth coming from my stomach] It was plainly insane. I told myself to "calm down and relax" but the more did it not cooperate, I wanted to rip myself open to actually turn myself inside out. I couldn't figure out what my mind, brain, heart was trying to tell me.

FYI: I did took 2 tablets of migrain pills to ease of the tension. My brain is trying to stretch my sanity, I just wanted to breathe lightly and release every bit of mixed emotion I had. I literally want to flush down every information that wasn't necessary at the moment.

Currently: I feel less disturbed, my lover fell tired and crash for the night. I so pity him, I know he too feels extra tired and he couldn't manage anymore of the heavy load; I feel his pain. I'm so thankful that he has gone through this and endured many things just to conquer something new. And for that I ethereally love him.

[Lover, if your reading this. I know your well aware there is indeed something wrong with me]

Thank you super collapse for making me calm my brain and helping me relax. :D

Now: waiting for the call from Michigan.
would they call me or not? XD

Planning: not to attend the first class. I am extremely tired, mentally and physically. My body's capacity can not endure anymore the martyr ness.

Mood: relieved and thankful. Is deeply caring for his lover.